It took Eli and I a while to get the hang of breastfeeding.
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You think of all the hard things to come once you’re a mother and at-least for me, feeding him never crossed my mind as something to worry about. I just thought it was instinctive and that was that.
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For us it was not instant or instinctive! The first couple months of Eli’s life I pumped and fed bottles. It was definitely not ideal! If it weren’t for Brian helping with feeds from previously extracted milk while I focused on pumping I’d have never slept! It was bad. I felt like I should at the very least be able to feed my baby. It was making me feel inadequate as a mother. Between this, the lack of sleep, and serious pain from a bad latch, (more on this below) I was falling apart. Brian couldn’t fix this problem and I know it killed him to see me in pain.
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I was so desperate to get it figured out we booked an appointment with an expert from la leche league. I had tried everything I could think of. Everyone kept telling me it wasn’t supposed to hurt at all and I was definitely experiencing pain! Finally a girlfriend of mine was like, “dude, it is going to hurt a little. Your boobs have never been used this way before!” I think thats important to hear! SOME pain or discomfort – at least in my experience is to be expected, just in the very beginning. I also should say, I am most certain I had several clogged ducts without realizing that was part of the problem, and it was contributing to my pain. Ladies, if you feel any bumps in your boobs I know it’s uncomfortable but you’ve got to break that up, self extract until they’re gone. Even with a perfect latch if you have clogged ducts you’re still going to experience pain until those are worked out and the soreness goes away.

Finally, after her advice, unclogging my ducts, and watching this video, I felt relief and could focus solely on getting Eli to open his mouth enough. Let me get graphic here lol. Our issue was A) he wasn’t opening his mouth enough and B) I wasn’t getting enough actual breast tissue back into his mouth, he was only getting the nipple. Don’t be afraid to slide a pinky in and check where their gums are! We worked and worked until 3 days prior to the appointment we FINALLY corrected his latch! After over a month of trying and failing.
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A few other things that helped him get his mouth open enough was supporting his feet so he didn’t feel like he was falling and grip onto me (its a real thing!) The Breast-friend helped with this the most. Ive talked about it before but the Boppy is too squishy and round and he’d roll all over the place and I never felt it offered him enough support. The breast friend is more sturdy and totally flat and has a little raise at the head so they are perfectly in line with the nipple. If you’re struggling you may want to at least try it from Amazon, you can always return if it doesn’t work for you. The other thing that helped was offering the nipple at his nose so that he opened his mouth up bigger in order to get it. The video shows this the best I’ve seen. Honestly this video changed everything for us and the “reset” position she talks about also kept me from getting flustered. There’s also another video she has with a real boob and a real baby thats very informative if you feel like you need to really see what she’s talking about lol.
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I just wanted to share this now that we’re through it and I have some perspective, (and am getting good sleep)! If you are struggling please don’t give up, and please know that you’re doing a great job! This mothering business is no joke, and I hope this is helpful to some of you!